oh no, it's like some other place and tii~ii~ii~me

 The moon is in Pisces and it's amazing how everything can feel so right. 

A moment ago, all the emotions were running through me. I knew something, on a spiritual level was wrong, but I couldn't put it in words as it was most definitely in my blindspot. 

I just woke up from a dream minutes ago and it was a guided dream filled with messages and clarity.

Firstly, I will never have anything more than this present moment, and that is a beautiful thing. Sometimes the present moment is cloudy and heavy and almost hopeless seeming (it really was earlier today!) and then there are moments like now where everything feels at peace, and I am honestly so glad. 

I am seated here, criss cross apple sauce, reminiscing on the characters that played a role in my temporary slumber -- in the nap I took to escape my emotions which were almost starting to manifest as a cold on the physical plane! It was a healthy reminder to listen to my body (which is connected to my soul) which knows more than I could ever consciously imagine.

Unfortunately, I had been wanting to see someone in my dreams for a while now, and I am so saddened by how he made his appearance. A one track minded degenerate who was getting a cheap high from sexual thrills. I could only cover it up for so long and now, it really must be put to rest as it does not speak to my soul. I've got a couple more dynamic layers within me, and it would be serving myself an injustice to carry on the way it has been -- and since I feel powerless in the situation, the only answer I can imagine is some space (as hard as that is for me to accept -- our souls are connected).

I just want the well balanced feeling, and toxic cycles are like windowless, grey rooms that block out any possible light from the universe.

Or am I being dramatic? Weighing too heavily into spirit ? There were good times as well -- and plenty of them. The overall theme is just off, that's all, but this dream gave the message that the theme wasn't going to change - and I can't just ignore messages that are gifted to me. Listen, they say when one door closes, it makes room for another to open so I'm not going to slam any doors, but a gentle closing of this chapter is in order for my health and well-being.

Alright, that is all for now. <3

gonna get back to sipping on my apple cider vinegar tea

also, one of my latest songs is stuck in my head ( it kind of reminds me of a Tool song.. every now and then, I write slow songs like that...)

I wanted to export what I have of it so far 

but it's in the other room

 I have to finish this album! Don't let me slack off indefinitely!!