h m m m

I guess at one point, this was the romanticized dream. To be elegant and beautiful, with a lover who is also elegant and beautiful, and to live in the woods with pine trees and deers... 

but.. who are we kidding now? boys are clumsy creatures, only capable of accidental beautiful grace that always ends up becoming an illusion that shatters once you get to know them... 

and who am i? i'm no where near the girl in this drawing! dainty?! hmph.. in my dreams ( and not even.. my dreams have been so mediocre lately ) 

i just ate a pint of dulce de lece hagan daas, and i'm sitting here in regret of my decision

also, let's not get started on the fact that i almost D R O V E  O F F with the gas pump still in my car. i feel so awful about that !! if it weren't for a guy who happened to see me, it could have been bad. 

ugh. 

sigh. 

burning incense right now. i always say a quick prayer before i light the stick. i'm hopeful things will pull together -- whatever that means. maybe i don't know right at this second, but i'm sure it'll come to me... ( though i think it has something to do with visuals and dj sets quite possibly??  )