toxic tendencies?

time to check in with myself once again.

starry desert as an online couture brand? 

or maybe just as photos on this blog so the pressures a little released haha 

obviously I'm a guinea pig and hamster owner. I'm not planning on making videos every week though. the energy of doing important cleaning for the camera doesn't always feel right, and I end up not doing things as thoroughly as I would off camera. plus it's starting to get repetitive so.... hamhamuniverse needs some brainstorming but I'm sure it will unfold organically in due time. 

just like my dancing tiktok. the videos seem to be made at their own pace lol

1970'S FANTASY ART - okay this is a new thing I like. alongside vintage manga horror art. I don't know what I plan on doing with this yet but ideally before I die, I'll become a manga artist lol. maybe inktober will be a good time to explore this. 

music's taken a back seat to sewing. 

and hikes are on hold until the giant crowds of snakes stop rattling at me. this happened twice already, not even kidding.

period cramps. hurting. ttys

omg omg omg omg

 I haven't made a blog post in... SO LONG!

where am I right now? who am I these days? What kinds of things make me happy??

so much to think about it haha

I'm noticing a pattern with myself....

I seem to wake up each morning with a different dream life. Is that bad?

I told myself I'd dedicate sooo much time to making horror manga. I still definitely want to do that, but today I'd rather make music later. is that so bad? I think not, but I do worry I'll never be known for anything because i've dipped my toes in every body of water and never swam in any one thing. 

like, when people ask you, what do you do?

hmm... well, I like to paint.. sometimes.

I like to write music, sometimes.

I like to sew, sometimes.

I like to make youtube videos, sometimes.

I like to make tiktok videos, sometimes. 

I made a new rule with myself, I'm not allowed to feed into my angst or anxiety if my step counter watch hasn't reached 6500. lol

Anyway, I think with small steps, everything will bloom in due time. I'm not going to worry.

I found so much new music today! And I went on a hike in a pine forest. I'm gooood. hehe

got some new work pants too. but noticed a hole in my boots. hm... 

so much cleaning to do...... gonna get to it, eventually haha toodles!!

ps, don't forget your demonic dream and the doll that appeared afterwards, AHHH!!!