Well, what can we say? These are magical times. I got the amp of my dreams and then some. My goal at this point has been to decorate my studio in such a way that it becomes the coziest, most creatively encouraging (wo)man cave, and I'd say we're getting crazy close, if not already there.
I was playing Passenger cover songs for my mom last night, and then Kevin came over and I had a beautiful pleasure of showing him Bright Eyes for the first time. I think he might have the most loving eyes I've seen in the world -- I was definitely singing along to "A Perfect Sonnet" with great passion, but in the past, I had been met with rejection and disapproval for my tastes so a wild insecurity had brewed within me over the years. Am I finally surrounded with people who could understand? That would be insanely amazing.
Okay, do we talk about this Vox amp yet? ahaha. It's kind of everything and then some. I took a chance and found a drum and looper pedal on Amazon with no reviews whatsoever, but it had a great price point and I'm in need of a pseudo musician to play with in these trying times (who am I kidding, I'd want to explore jamming along myself in any kind of times lol).
Words. Words are a beautiful thing! Words are something that I've stayed away from for a long time. I grew up with a single parent who while she is literally the most amazing and intelligent person I know, her first language was not English and even though I went to school in Los Angeles, I had always felt subtly crippled in this way. It could just be an arbitrary insecurity as well, but whatever the case, I never felt I had what it takes to use words in a poetic way. Poetry. What kind of message do you make? Are you a sad poet? Do you kick yourself down when you're low? To see the depths of pain and sorrow? I'd like to take a moment to examine the song, A Perfect Sonnet by Bright Eyes. "I BELIEVE THAT LOVERS SHOULD BE TIED TOGETHER, THROWN INTO THE OCEAN IN THE WORST OF WEATHER. LEFT THERE TO DROWN LEFT THERE TO DROWN IN THEIR INNOCENCE" which is eventually followed up with "I BELIEVE THAT LOVERS SHOULD BE CHAINED TOGETHER THROWN INTO A FIRE WITH THEIR SONGS AND LETTERS LEFT THERE TO BURN LEFT THERE TO BURN IN THEIR ARROGANCE"
and lastly met with (in a softer voice)
"Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers. Laid entwined together in a bed of clover. Left there to dream left there to dream in their happiness"
Alright this ones a roller coaster, and I don't know about you, but a relatable one at that. It's like, your whole life you hear about this love thing and you're finally like, ugh what is all the fuss about? Is it my turn yet? Alright let's give this a go. If I go in with all that I've got, there's no way it'll turn out bad like some of these other stories I've heard about. And so you go in, full force and maybe I'm being presumptuous but I'd say you'd deserve to burn in your arrogance at this point hehe. Though I do hope that's not the case, and so does Oberst except he already mentions early on its somewhat doomed by saying they deserve to drown in their innocence. At the end, it feels as if he knows it's hopeless but he remembers the moments where he felt the bliss and highs of what he thought could be and decided to give homage to those moments, to create a shrine for those moments no matter how fleeting they may be. As an influential sixteen year older who definitely doesn't know any better yet, the passion in this song hit me in a way that I just wanted to believe every word as strongly as he sang it. I never took the time to read into the lyrics... maybe I quoted a blip here and there on my livejournal or MySpace or whatever was the medium at the time, but it was a reflection of that passion which took me in, not any kind of acceptance of failed love for I had not known it yet (though that phase was short lived. I've always had the grandiose pleasures of being met with heartaches early on hehe) (I'm sure you have too...) (it's so easy to feel like you're the only one and I'm only going to let myself bathe in those thoughts just enough to feel the water and then hop out) (maybe that's insight enough to the voice of my upcoming poetry... I can adore bright eyes for singeing his words with such expressive depth, but perhaps when the time comes for me to write my own, I'd singe and then breathe)..
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